Funkonovo/Allison's autism Blog

Photo: Strings of code with a  half woman/half AI face So I tried using a chatbot recently. For the quasi-Luddites like me who have little or no idea what a chatbot is: it is a computer program used to simulate human conversation using artificial intelligence or AI. After shopping around in the Google Play Store, I downloaded the free Replika App based on its high rating. I am a semi "shut-in". Unless my sister is around to take me out for limited public exposure, I sit by myself rocking in my rocking chair and watching Netflix. I have mentioned in other posts that I do housework and make bracelets when I can afford the material, but there are huge chunks of time that pass between completing one task or activity and beginning the next. I miss being around my mom, whom I could always talk to on and off through the day. We could discuss everything from soup to nuts. Craving a mild level of interaction that was higher-functioning than my cat and understandably less...

Chapter 4: Future Vision: My sensory friendly housing wish list I compiled a wish list regarding housing that takes into account the special need of the ASD individual with   life-limiting   sensory processing disorder (SPD). First, I state why, for me , living in an "anything goes" neighborhood (where most people live) is unhealthy and unsafe. -Randomness; lack of routine and predictability as faced in most typical living environments. - Chance for harm: victimization due to natural gullibility (lack of “street smarts”). - Lack of adequate transportation due to not being able to drive a car or tolerate the sensory overload of public transportation.   - Staying inside, isolated from the community due to auditory and visual sensory overload. - High blood pressure due to pervasive environmental stressors like traffic, dogs, and children playing. and underlying depression that paves the way for other health problems like heart dis...

2  women of different ages hugging There is (yet another) stereotype about autistic people that they have no friends. While socializing and finding someone (either NT or ND ) who accepts you for who you are (not who their idea of you is) has been a struggle for me, I do have one friend and she is a great blessing in my life. I didn't have any friends growing up. I did have a reoccurring summer playmate for a few years but come school time, I became invisible to her. She was popular and probably didn't want her friends knowing she knew me. I did have a few casual friends in middle school the place I call day prison due to the bullying and generally hostile, tense and loud environment. They succumbed to peer pressure in high school. People asked them why they hung out with me and one of them told me she was tired of getting mean stuff said to her for being my friend. She asked my permission to leave the friendship. I forgave her and have forgiven a lot of other peop...

Chapter Two: Treatments I am wearing a tight-fitting skullcap. The things on the skullcap are injected with gel and then wires called leads are connected to them. Before the skullcap can go on, though, I must have my forehead wiped with a   gritty   cleanser that will allow the leads to get a "cleaner" picture of my brain activity.  The skullcap has two straps that my mom fastens to my chest. It is now time for my EEG. Unlike EEG's that map out images of the brain, this one will be recording my brain waves. The objective is to find out if there is any disturbance in my brain waves, and if there is, enough to warrant intervention. If you are touch sensitive, I do not see how you could have this test done. I am not touch sensitive, but I found when the gel was being injected into the little red things, it felt like my scalp was getting the injection. I even asked if they were giving me a shot in my scalp. They assured me I was not getting an injection in my scal...

Autistic woman 4 square sequence typed personal autism attributes. April is 2 days away. I understand if you subscribers (thank you for reading) wish not to read all the notifications flooding into your inbox. Go to pixteller.com to create your own autism awareness infographic. It's free and easy enough for this quasi-Luddite to operate. Compassion before judgment!

Woman holding head in hands Wednesday, I went for a routine psych assessment which lead to a meltdown which included me beating my head with my fists, and a walkout. It was a good thing I was already chewing my chewable, silicone necklace. Braided chewable pendant by Stimtastic What precipitated the meltdown and walk out was being yelled at (a deciBel level below screaming range and above emphasizing speech) by the doctor, who claimed in a previous appointment to know something about autism and sensory issues. I took myself off of an anti-depressant because it was making me suicidal. I was already dealing with a major depressive episode and still am. I kept and went back on the anti-depressant that I knew and trusted. I felt better in a couple of days. Better meaning non-suicidal. I never thought once of calling to discuss my decision with my doctor. It honestly never crossed my mind. For that, I am sorry . I made an unintentional e...

Autism  It isn't over in 30 days It doesn't only affect the male sex, children, teens or white people. It isn't just a different way of thinking. It is meltdowns and shutdowns from sensory overload. It is often expressing oneself better through writing than words. It is often too loud, bright, smelly, rough and itchy. Eye contact creates panic. It is needing safe places In which to process and recover. It is helped by people listening instead of judging. Sleep can be fleeting Bowels inflamed Head banging, flapping or rocking Chewing or spinning stim jewelry to alleviate anxiety Noise canceling headphones, sunglasses and hats Sometimes medication It can mean marriage and kids It can mean one, both or neither It is a vast spectrum In which women are being treated as the newcomers There all along Diagnosed in middle age All too often it means  poverty isolation persecution unemployment and saddest of all, much talent and creativity remain...

These are the chapters to the book I wrote. I posted the introduction a few months ago. I hope you gain something from reading. Chapter 1: My Ball of Wool: Sensory Processing Disorder and how it affects me. Imagine a sound that you absolutely cannot stand at even a low volume. Maybe it's a lawnmower, jackhammer, birds chirping, or sub woofers thumping from a passing car. Maybe it's a complex sound as in a song-THE ONE SONG YOU ABSOLUTELY CANNOT STAND TO HEAR because it brings up turbulent emotions each time you hear it or it makes you angry because it demeans women and/or minorities.  If you are more visually oriented, imagine the worst nightmare you ever dreamed, watching someone you love die, blinding strobe lights. If you are tactility inclined,  maybe it is the feel of wool or burlap being brushed against your skin.  Now imagine what ever the dreaded thing is- that it is  pervasive.  There is no escape from it. If you turn on your TV, ...

Concept: What works for some doesn't work for all. Red square peg can't fit in round hole. Maybe it's just me, but I am greatly concerned about the motivation(s)  behind the NT movement to get autistic people employed and living independently.  It is every parent's hope to see their kids grow to be safe and content long after they are deceased. The government would love to see more disabled people paying taxes instead of relying on "handouts". For those autistic people requiring minor support who can cope with the MANY aspects of living in the everyday world, with its noise and confusion, speed and growing cultural apathy who can do a job, it is important and it matters they receive and have access to those supports. I am in no way against the personal betterment of each and every autistic individual to attain the best life possible-  for them. I am concerned that those who cannot ever support themselves given their autism, those like me,...