Funkonovo/Allison's autism Blog

Box/Gumby type person comforting another in big square. They are alone in the small box. The concept is that the small square is reality and the big one is a wish.

After a year of intense anxiety, misunderstandings and resulting outbursts mostly online, I am in need of peace. After a summer of major depression and enduring Saturday night M80s from neighbors from summer through fall (which caused suicidal ideation), I am in desperate need of peace. In case you are wondering, yes, I called the police. It caused retaliation. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says that God won't allow a believer to go through more than they can bear, but will provide a way out. God wants us to rely 100% on Him and not on other people or ourselves. This takes faith and humility. I wonder if God was trying to get my attention with the suffering season I had? I have been relying on Him more lately, praying for Him to give me peace overall, but especially in the area of sensory overload. I think the prayer was answered in part back in the fall, when I asked my APRN to prescribe Ambien for me to use on Saturday nights. I already have peace about New Year's Eve. I'...

Before I received an autism diagnosis, certain members of my NT family were fine with making fun of me and calling me names. When I was 19, I was diagnosed with autism. Finally, there was an answer to why I covered my ears during loud noises and rocked almost constantly as well as my lack of eye-contact and slightly strange gait. People treated me differently post diagnosis. I hadn't changed since the diagnosis. I couldn't figure out why I was being shut out. Even people who were neutral toward me who would say "hello" did not. Some people didn't speak to me at all when I made the effort; and minimal socialization   is   an effort for me. This still happens. It happened at my mom's funeral two and a half years ago when I had to see my NT family members. It happened the other day when the NT neighbor came by to speak to my sister with me in the car. I am there , but not there. This might be an autistic point of view, but these people are very...

God is present Amidst the barren, broken places I inhabit Called sensory overload, anxiety and depression I must constantly remind myself He is. He is good. He is love. He never changes. He will not leave or forsake me In spite of the darkness That is Satan trying to win another battle A new day is coming No more sin I must   hang in there And not submit to defeat “And Jacob awaked out of his sleep, and he said, Surely Jehovah is in this place. And I knew it not.” Genesis 28:16 ASV

Going through the motions, making an effort not to give up. Seeing no hue, just many shades of gray.