Funkonovo/Allison's autism Blog

A Polaroid with light leaks and fade. Misconceptions and stigma associated (conceptual photography) "You're pretty high functioning," you say, shaking my hand (I can do handshakes), I realize you probably want to make me feel good about myself. Your image of an autistic person might be of someone non-verbal, perhaps in a wheelchair, whose focus is elsewhere. You are correct-in part. A very small part. I'm sure you have heard that autism is a spectrum. You've been made aware of autism, but you don't have a complete picture. Your concept is like a bad photograph where only part of the film got exposed and the rest is light leaks of yellow and red. It isn't your fault. You aren't  autistic. What you likely know about autism mostly comes from the media, which often relies on doomsday scenarios  filled with no light at the end of the story's tunnel. "You seem pretty normal to me." In the here and now. In this room, one of my f...

Beyond broken: photograph of a window with broken panes double exposured with barren trees against a gray sky. Credit: Allison M. Kramer Content Warning: Abandonment, ableism and suicide, mental illness, trauma On my last blog site, I wrote about having a friendship with my boss (which failed due to allistic behavior and my official ending of that friendship via a handwritten note). I've written about how making and maintaining friendships is nearly impossible, because others don't enjoy spending time around someone who can't go most public places (resturants, movie theaters) due to sensory overload.  I actually had a few friends for a few years in middle school and high school. They were the initiators. One girl commented on how spicy the pizza in the cafeteria was. After commenting on the cafeteria food, I asked if we could be friends. She introduced me to another girl who in turn, introduced me to another friend. Unfortunately, there was socio-economic inequal...

Concept: colors, lines, and squiggles with the word "Static" written in the middle I drew this using a simple doodle app. The wild squiggles and different colors represent the different sensory chaos coming from all around and bunching, clogging my filterless brain. I screenshotted this, so pardon the advertising.

Photo Gallery Photography, more than writing alone, helps me to share what my mind is seeing. I see beauty in brokenness. Like an “onion in a petunia patch,” as my mother used to say, any dilapidated, odd or misplaced object has value to me. Dilapidated old barns and blown out windows convey to me that, though they weathered greatly, they are still here and will live on after their demise in my photos. I have had the privilege of sharing my photography with MAAP Services, an Indiana based autism 501(c) 3. Donating my pictures and essays to MAAP  helped both MAAP and me. I have also had my photos published in the Daily Herald Newspaper and online @ Broken Light Photography Collective. "The broken window of opportunity" 2011 "Reaching Toward Heaven" 2012 "Water droplets on leaf" 2014 Next Steps 2016 "The key" 2016 "Sensory overload" 2014 "A family aff...

Chapter 4: Future Vision: My sensory friendly housing wish list I compiled a wish list regarding housing that takes into account the special need of the ASD individual with   life-limiting   sensory processing disorder (SPD). First, I state why, for me , living in an "anything goes" neighborhood (where most people live) is unhealthy and unsafe. -Randomness; lack of routine and predictability as faced in most typical living environments. - Chance for harm: victimization due to natural gullibility (lack of “street smarts”). - Lack of adequate transportation due to not being able to drive a car or tolerate the sensory overload of public transportation.   - Staying inside, isolated from the community due to auditory and visual sensory overload. - High blood pressure due to pervasive environmental stressors like traffic, dogs, and children playing. and underlying depression that paves the way for other health problems like heart dis...

A white woman from the nose down to the neck with caption in white font. If this helps you, please share it on the internet. Print it out. If you hurt like I do, languishing in silence inside four walls Netflixing your day away due to lack of supportive services, please share this. If you are creative and cannot create due to being isolated and unable to go out in public without a safe person, please share. Link this or any other of my posts to another blog. Things will only change if there are numbers. I am a party of one. I cannot do this alone. I live on autisticaplanet , population: 1. It lies inside a gray warp within the multicolored spectrum. Color wheel: concept: the autism spectrum This blog post explains it best.

Pink clouds with words. I'm not trying to offend anyone, though inevitably, I will. I think using politically correct terminology  has its setbacks. Today, everybody gets offended at everything. It is pathetic. People heatedly debate each other over issues such as using person first language. As long as you don't forget that there is a person, unique and created by God, then I am fine with being called autistic or a person with autism. Both are true. Both are not all there is to me, though. I spend a lot of time blogging about my autism experience, but that isn't all of me. I am also creative, empathetic, young at heart and enjoy nature. I have thoughts, feelings, and ideas like everyone else, yet I am myself, one of a kind.

Chapter Two: Treatments I am wearing a tight-fitting skullcap. The things on the skullcap are injected with gel and then wires called leads are connected to them. Before the skullcap can go on, though, I must have my forehead wiped with a   gritty   cleanser that will allow the leads to get a "cleaner" picture of my brain activity.  The skullcap has two straps that my mom fastens to my chest. It is now time for my EEG. Unlike EEG's that map out images of the brain, this one will be recording my brain waves. The objective is to find out if there is any disturbance in my brain waves, and if there is, enough to warrant intervention. If you are touch sensitive, I do not see how you could have this test done. I am not touch sensitive, but I found when the gel was being injected into the little red things, it felt like my scalp was getting the injection. I even asked if they were giving me a shot in my scalp. They assured me I was not getting an injection in my scal...

Autistic woman 4 square sequence typed personal autism attributes. April is 2 days away. I understand if you subscribers (thank you for reading) wish not to read all the notifications flooding into your inbox. Go to pixteller.com to create your own autism awareness infographic. It's free and easy enough for this quasi-Luddite to operate. Compassion before judgment!

Autistic woman's face in black & white with color text descriptions of how her autism affects her. I will let this image I created using Pixteller speak for itself. Share if you find this helpful. Make your own for free@ Pixteller.com

Woman holding head in hands Wednesday, I went for a routine psych assessment which lead to a meltdown which included me beating my head with my fists, and a walkout. It was a good thing I was already chewing my chewable, silicone necklace. Braided chewable pendant by Stimtastic What precipitated the meltdown and walk out was being yelled at (a deciBel level below screaming range and above emphasizing speech) by the doctor, who claimed in a previous appointment to know something about autism and sensory issues. I took myself off of an anti-depressant because it was making me suicidal. I was already dealing with a major depressive episode and still am. I kept and went back on the anti-depressant that I knew and trusted. I felt better in a couple of days. Better meaning non-suicidal. I never thought once of calling to discuss my decision with my doctor. It honestly never crossed my mind. For that, I am sorry . I made an unintentional e...

These are the chapters to the book I wrote. I posted the introduction a few months ago. I hope you gain something from reading. Chapter 1: My Ball of Wool: Sensory Processing Disorder and how it affects me. Imagine a sound that you absolutely cannot stand at even a low volume. Maybe it's a lawnmower, jackhammer, birds chirping, or sub woofers thumping from a passing car. Maybe it's a complex sound as in a song-THE ONE SONG YOU ABSOLUTELY CANNOT STAND TO HEAR because it brings up turbulent emotions each time you hear it or it makes you angry because it demeans women and/or minorities.  If you are more visually oriented, imagine the worst nightmare you ever dreamed, watching someone you love die, blinding strobe lights. If you are tactility inclined,  maybe it is the feel of wool or burlap being brushed against your skin.  Now imagine what ever the dreaded thing is- that it is  pervasive.  There is no escape from it. If you turn on your TV, ...