Funkonovo/Allison's autism Blog

Camera lens with breaks in it. Light and sound amplification This photo had some serious Photoshop performed on it. This is what the sensory filter in my brain looks like.  I have autism and SPD (sensory processing disorder). That means my brain doesn't properly process some information, including certain auditory input. I was diagnosed with hyperacute hearing as a child and as having "autistic features" in 1998. In 2004, I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, now part of autism spectrum disorder. I read an interesting article on Wikipedia that explains sensory gating . My brain cannot perform this properly with sound. The "Cocktail Effect", a term used to describe how the brain filters out information it doesn't need, is pretty much absent in my brain. If I am around more than 4 people with 2 or more conversations, I feel like I am listening to 2 or more radio stations simultaneously. I use passive earmuffs and sometimes earplugs in public....

Housing for autistic adults-within reach? Illinois, my home state, doesn't have too many choices when it comes to housing autistic adults who cannot work on their own, but have little to no difficulty with brushing their teeth and doing laundry. I live in the northern part of the state, in a county that has a huge discrepancy between the northern and southern parts due to the way it is set up. I live in the desolate far north. I am continuing my quest to draw attention to the need for a variety of different living situations for autistic adults in Northern Kane County in Northern Illinois. Below is a letter I wrote to my elected representatives (Christian name omitted for privacy) Dear Representative, My name is () and I am an autistic adult residing in your district. As you are probably aware, there are now a lot of adults with autism who either need or will need a safe, quiet and structured place to live after their parents are unable to care for them (mine are both...

“You are going to wind up in jail, an institution or the morgue.” –Neuropsychiatrist at the University of Illinois at Chicago Campus, January 2006 “You are a fraud.” “You are just spoiled.” –Behavioral health worker @ Alexian Brothers Behavioral Health Hospital, Hoffman Estates, IL 2005 “It isn’t my job to understand autism.” –GP, circa 2005 “How much did (X) cost?” Ongoing suspicion from AID (the association for individual development, headquartered in Aurora, IL) each time I have worked with them, despite full financial disclosure on my application form. “Well, that’s because they get so much fraud.” My one and only friend (during a conversation on 1/1/17) who used to work at AID, despite my telling her a person is innocent until proven guilty in this country. Add to this sexual assault (Lutheran General Hospital, Park Ridge, IL 1999-during a free gyno exam -included in hospital stay). Would not pull out speculum when I told the doctor and his assistant ...

Autistic adults speak via Reddit about what they wish non- autistics knew. Rainbow infinity symbol, different, not less. http://blog.theautismsite.com/reddit-answers-own-words/?utm_source=aut-autaware&utm_medium=social-fbpc&utm_term=AUTAWARE-PC-reddit-answers-own-words-5cCPM-W35-KWaut&utm_campaign=PC-reddit-answers-own-words&origin=aut_autaware_social_fbpc_PC_reddit-answers-own-words What I wish others knew-that my hypersensitive hearing isn't my fault. Just because I have a neurological disorder doesn't give you the right to EVER take your frustration out on me, be it physical, emotional or otherwise. We live in a fallen world, and sadly, this means people are born with, among other things, wait for it...neurological disorders.

I hate books. I cringe just looking at them. I won't read one unless it is a serious matter like reading the Bible, and I only do so for short bursts. I opt for the audio version any time I can. This means there are tons of books I can't read, as there is no audio book or the audio book is very expensive as is the case on iTunes (usually $40.00 and up for 300 pages). Reading for any length of time makes for a migraine. I am a visual and aural learner. Words bore me silly. Black on white mush. I won't even read a blog post past the 500th word. I skim read after that. I try to keep my own blog posts short and provide visual "breaks". How did I survive school? Textbooks were broken down into chapters, so there wasn't a whole lot to read for homework, which was accompanied by taking notes and/or a worksheet to fill out. Novels and plays were read in class. Kids took turns, myself included, reading brief passages. If there was more book than cl...

I'm not waiting for Christmas. I compiled a wish list regarding housing that takes into account the special need of the ASD individual with life-limiting sensory processing disorder (SPD). First, I state why living in an "anything goes" neighborhood (where most people live) is unhealthy and unsafe.     -Randomness; lack of routine and predictability as faced in most typical living environments. -          Chance for harm: victimization due to natural gullibility (lack of “street smarts”). -          Lack of adequate transportation due to not being able to drive a car or tolerate the sensory overload of public transportation. -          Staying inside, isolated from the community due to auditory and visual sensory overload. -          High blood pressure due to pervasive environmenta...

My autistic brain on fire This is how I feel when I am getting close to a meltdown. I am exposed to one of my trigger sounds (babies crying, dogs barking and fireworks). I am in a situation where I cannot escape them.  Learning how to use a computer lead to many meltdowns, one so bad that 911 was called and I was hospitalized for several days. I have a low frustration threshold for the unexpected.  Meltdowns are an inner and outer body experience at the same time. I can feel the interior of my body shaking, my throat becoming hamburger meat as I scream, and my hands like a vice as they hold my ears. There is presence and detachment at the same time. Afterword, there is an exhaustion that lasts for hours or even a full day. I swear, hit, spit, bite and attack anyone or thing within my flailing, spinning, Tasmanian Devil like path. I self loathe and feel helpless and guilty later. I have to wind down until the pent up pressure is gone.  The worst thing another livin...

Here are some blogs I follow written by women with autism spectrum disorder. I hope you find them to be as resourceful as I have. 1. Anonymously Autistic ("Anna") https://anonymouslyautistic.net/ 2. Everyday Aspie (Samantha Craft) https://everydayaspie.wordpress.com/ Here are two blogs I follow regarding mental health (autism, though not a mental illness, is an included topic with both, and a Christian worldview in the second. 1. Broken Light Photography Collective (Danielle Hark) A positive place to share your photos and mental health story. https://brokenlightcollective.com/ 2. Confessions (Matthew Malin) A blog about mental health where you now can share your confessions about mental health and your Christian faith (though you don't have to be Christian to visit or contribute). https://findingwhoweare.com/ Here are some autism blogs that look good, but that I haven't had the chance to delve into yet: That Bloody Cat https://thatbloodycat.com/ ...

In May, 2009, I had a violent meltdown that lead to law-enforcement and an ambulance ride to the E.R. Upon arrival I was greeted by a  screaming baby,  one of the very things my ears just CANNOT tolerate. I covered my ears and begin screaming in distress and immediately I witnessed the ignorance, prejudice and abuse of my junior high and high school past was crashing down on me in adulthood.  Several people were in the room barking questions like "What's your name?" "What meds are you on?" "Stop screaming, you're scaring the lady in the bed next to you!" On top of this, the baby is still screaming, which I am reminded "isn't its fault!" in a derogatory yell. I remind her through tears that I have  autism  and  sensory processing disorder  and cannot help my response, either. That brought a threat, "If you can't be quiet then we'll have to give you Haldol. You can't take Haldol? (I am allergic) I thought yo...

Autism awareness fact #1: Some people on the autism spectrum are sensory sensitive , sensory seeking or a combo of both. I am hyper sensitive in the area of auditory processing. Fireworks, dogs barking and fans humming may be excruciating to the autistic individual, prompting compensating devices such as earplugs or white noise. Scratchy tags or wool in clothing may prompt a rash to develop on their skin.  Autism acceptance idea #1: Recognize that we are not being "difficult". We are not trying purposely to inconvenience you when we scream at a loud noise or tear off the sweater you just bought us. Autism is a NEUROLOGICAL disorder involving, in part, the frontal & temporal lobes. These are areas responsible for impulse control and sensory input. We make accommodations EVERY DAY to function in a world that thrives on noise and distractions bombarding us on multiple fronts. It is not asking too much when we ask you to turn the music down, close the car window or to ...

  Disconnected  I am a typewriter that cannot write I am a radio that cannot play music I am a phone that cannot ring. I am a lamp that cannot throw any light I am a doorbell that cannot chime I am a car that cannot drive I am a television that cannot give you a picture But if you plug me into help and services For an adult with Asperger’s Syndrome and sensory processing disorder I can thrive and contribute  The question is, will you? A poem for politicians, social service agencies and those generally interested in my general welfare.

Before I received an autism diagnosis, certain members of my NT family were fine with making fun of me and calling me names. When I was 19, I was diagnosed with autism. Finally, there was an answer to why I covered my ears during loud noises and rocked almost constantly as well as my lack of eye-contact and slightly strange gait. People treated me differently post diagnosis. I hadn't changed since the diagnosis. I couldn't figure out why I was being shut out. Even people who were neutral toward me who would say "hello" did not. Some people didn't speak to me at all when I made the effort; and minimal socialization   is   an effort for me. This still happens. It happened at my mom's funeral two and a half years ago when I had to see my NT family members. It happened the other day when the NT neighbor came by to speak to my sister with me in the car. I am there , but not there. This might be an autistic point of view, but these people are very...

  In 2007, my mom, aunt and I went to an autism "support" group. I don't remember how I found out about the group, but I had asked via e-mail if there was anything for adults. The group leader said no (of course), but that they might consider starting an adult group. This was a group run by parents of autistic kids. Pro Autism Speaks. They were the main ones present at the meetings. There was only 1 other autistic adult who had mild intellectual disability and didn't come very often. Not long after my query, I was contacted to say that they would put one on the schedule and was e-mailed a copy. I was excited. An outlet for me. Resources and sympathy available for my 67-year-old mom. My mom said she had a bad vibe from the first meeting. I didn't see it, but by the 4th time it became clear: they were a clique, and if you thought thoughts apart from the clique then they hurt you. When my mother voiced her opposing opinion of Autism Speaks a...

Yes, it IS a disability! I honestly have to wonder if political correctness will be the death of us. Especially those of us with autism spectrum disorder if it is ever defined   solely   as a way of thinking differently, thus possibly nullifying services needed to survive. Autism is the only neurodevelopmental disorder that is constantly in conflict with causes, treatment options and self-identification. If you are totally self-sufficient, possibly married with (or without) kids, able to pay a mortgage or rent, manage a 401K along with feeding and dressing yourself, chances are you won't view your autism as a disability, but rather as ONLY a way of "thinking differently" or "processing at a different speed". Here is the problem I see if this   one-sided   perception becomes accepted as the norm: insurance companies won't have to cover treatment. It is hard enough to get insurance companies to accept autism as a valid medical diagnosis. I have...

My first avatar for this blog 11/4/16 Yes, this is me. The Avatar lady with resting bitch face. Don't blame me. That one isn't mine! I'm not really that horrible. I am hurt and angry. I am tired of people tearing me apart because they don't agree with my Christian Worldview and my autism. Why do I keep allowing commenting? Aren't I supposed to "believe the best"? Well, the assholes keep creeping in, despite civil warnings, so I am here now and I can say, after 6 years of blogging, there will never, ever be any commenting allowed here. Not ever. For me, commenting isn't healthy. It is another door Satan uses to try and tear me down. I am autistic, so communication is already a problem. My badly damaged sensory filters add to the hyper-sensitivity. Though I long to engage, I know the payoff, at least online, isn't worth it. I began my blogging journey here and I have come home to roost. I hope you will find what's written here t...