Funkonovo/Allison's autism Blog

Matching earring and necklace set in pink. gold and gray. I love to wear jewelry. My mother loved jewelry. I must have inherited this trait from her. I often do mix and match, but during a stressful event such as PMS . Something in my brain doesn't allow me to deal with mixing, only matching. Knowing this, I have a few matching necklace and earring sets. They are the "go to items" I wear when OCD has a grip on me. Department stores such as Kohls (where I shop) has plenty of affordable costume jewelry , including surgical steel earring backs. Cubic Zirconia or any clear crystal will go with anything. If you have any go-tos for stressful times in your life, figure out what they are and use them. It is a great coping tool. 

“You are going to wind up in jail, an institution or the morgue.” –Neuropsychiatrist at the University of Illinois at Chicago Campus, January 2006 “You are a fraud.” “You are just spoiled.” –Behavioral health worker @ Alexian Brothers Behavioral Health Hospital, Hoffman Estates, IL 2005 “It isn’t my job to understand autism.” –GP, circa 2005 “How much did (X) cost?” Ongoing suspicion from AID (the association for individual development, headquartered in Aurora, IL) each time I have worked with them, despite full financial disclosure on my application form. “Well, that’s because they get so much fraud.” My one and only friend (during a conversation on 1/1/17) who used to work at AID, despite my telling her a person is innocent until proven guilty in this country. Add to this sexual assault (Lutheran General Hospital, Park Ridge, IL 1999-during a free gyno exam -included in hospital stay). Would not pull out speculum when I told the doctor and his assistant ...

My autistic brain on fire This is how I feel when I am getting close to a meltdown. I am exposed to one of my trigger sounds (babies crying, dogs barking and fireworks). I am in a situation where I cannot escape them.  Learning how to use a computer lead to many meltdowns, one so bad that 911 was called and I was hospitalized for several days. I have a low frustration threshold for the unexpected.  Meltdowns are an inner and outer body experience at the same time. I can feel the interior of my body shaking, my throat becoming hamburger meat as I scream, and my hands like a vice as they hold my ears. There is presence and detachment at the same time. Afterword, there is an exhaustion that lasts for hours or even a full day. I swear, hit, spit, bite and attack anyone or thing within my flailing, spinning, Tasmanian Devil like path. I self loathe and feel helpless and guilty later. I have to wind down until the pent up pressure is gone.  The worst thing another livin...