Funkonovo/Allison's autism Blog

Young female child crying First of all, thank you VERY MUCH for your thoughtfulness in choosing to remove your crying toddler from the OB/GYN waiting room. I am sure it was boring for your daughter to wait on top of being sick. I could hear the mucus rattle when she coughed. Being patient for a toddler is hard on a good day, but far harder when you are sick. My autistic brain can remember back to when I was a toddler. I was about to go in for my yearly exam. I had a meltdown earlier in the week and was dreading the pain and pressure that always comes from having a metal speculum inserted into my vagina. I have a very good doctor who is both practical and patient, but it is still a very uncomfortable experience. Not having to figure out how to run out of the office, possibly punch myself in the head or knock something over was a HUGE relief. I was able to remain seated and chew my stim pendant, filling out my paperwork (I wish they could just e-mail it-very stressful as I am ...

Woman holding head in hands Wednesday, I went for a routine psych assessment which lead to a meltdown which included me beating my head with my fists, and a walkout. It was a good thing I was already chewing my chewable, silicone necklace. Braided chewable pendant by Stimtastic What precipitated the meltdown and walk out was being yelled at (a deciBel level below screaming range and above emphasizing speech) by the doctor, who claimed in a previous appointment to know something about autism and sensory issues. I took myself off of an anti-depressant because it was making me suicidal. I was already dealing with a major depressive episode and still am. I kept and went back on the anti-depressant that I knew and trusted. I felt better in a couple of days. Better meaning non-suicidal. I never thought once of calling to discuss my decision with my doctor. It honestly never crossed my mind. For that, I am sorry . I made an unintentional e...

Photo negative of blog author lying on floor with OCD description I write mainly about my autism on this blog. I have not got into my co-morbids much.  When I was about five years old, I began to have unwelcome, unpremeditated thoughts. They were intrusive and did not reflect how I felt toward others. I kept hearing a (non audible) voice like "Push your mother/father down the stairs" when I would be behind them on a staircase. I "hear" an imaginary voice when I am reading. I don't know if others hear themselves read, but I do. I was also blessed with loving parents.  The thoughts I had were confusing and scary. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt or even kill my parents.  There were other directives, such as take one way around to the back yard or bad things will happen to you (meaning me). I thank God I didn't give into the inaudible voice, impulsion or compulsion. I could better function overall as a child. Most of my intrusive thoughts ar...

Child covering ears Family gatherings are noisey. There are a myriad of voices that range in pitch and volume. There is that one person who laughs so loud that tears well in my eyes. Boys yell and bang on the piano. Someone is taking a photo with flash. Greeting people is part of being polite, even when you are already in sensory overload. Perfumes and colognes combine and foods from the kitchen circulate. Men yell at the football game and women laugh at something funny.  All this is taken in at the door. There is a long way to wade through before I can put my coat in a quiet bedroom. I have to remember to smile and say "hello" as well as accept hugs. There are a few cousins who cannot stand my presence, though, at age 5, I don't know what I could have possibly done to upset them. I am asked, "Why do you plug your ears?" I am told repeatedly that nobody wants me here. I am the only one who isn't part of a group. Sometimes, I get bullied. A parent ...

Me getting an EEG in 2009 I am wearing a tight-fitting skull cap. The things on the skull cap are injected with gel and then wires called leads are connected to them. Before the skull cap can go on, though, I must have my forehead wiped with a gritty cleanser that will allow for the leads to get a "cleaner" picture of my brain activity.  The skull cap has 2 straps that my mom fastens to my chest. It is now time for my EEG. Unlike EEG's that map out images of the brain, this one will be recording my brain waves. The objective is to find out if there is any disturbance in my brain waves, and if there is, enough to warrant intervention. If you are touch sensitive, I do not see how you could have this test done. I am not touch sensitive, but I found when the gel was being injected into the little red things, it felt like my scalp was getting the injection. I even asked if they were giving me a shot in my scalp. They assured me I was not getting an injection...