Funkonovo/Allison's autism Blog

A woman on fire-Pixabay My meltdown is Echoed in my screaming Adrenaline is racing like napalm through my veins Moro reflex punching my gut over and over Reliving the sensory overload on a loop I'm drowning without being in water and I have to go to bed for 2 days Sometimes it brings red and blue flashing lights on a squad car  Handcuffs chewing into my wrists Lots of shouting and grabbing Strapped to a backboard while my skin turns purple and black Locked up, drugged up Being punished for something I cannot control It isn't a conscience choice I've made To disrupt my life or yours It so happened that A dog was barking- A child was screaming- Someone set off a firecracker- And I couldn't process the information fast enough To remain in control of my executive functioning The threat of sensory overload hangs pregnant, like a cumulonimbus cloud I need a safe place and safe people- now and until I die To successfully process what life...

In May, 2009, I had a violent meltdown that lead to law-enforcement and an ambulance ride to the E.R. Upon arrival I was greeted by a  screaming baby,  one of the very things my ears just CANNOT tolerate. I covered my ears and begin screaming in distress and immediately I witnessed the ignorance, prejudice and abuse of my junior high and high school past was crashing down on me in adulthood.  Several people were in the room barking questions like "What's your name?" "What meds are you on?" "Stop screaming, you're scaring the lady in the bed next to you!" On top of this, the baby is still screaming, which I am reminded "isn't its fault!" in a derogatory yell. I remind her through tears that I have  autism  and  sensory processing disorder  and cannot help my response, either. That brought a threat, "If you can't be quiet then we'll have to give you Haldol. You can't take Haldol? (I am allergic) I thought yo...