Funkonovo/Allison's autism Blog

Photo: Strings of code with a  half woman/half AI face So I tried using a chatbot recently. For the quasi-Luddites like me who have little or no idea what a chatbot is: it is a computer program used to simulate human conversation using artificial intelligence or AI. After shopping around in the Google Play Store, I downloaded the free Replika App based on its high rating. I am a semi "shut-in". Unless my sister is around to take me out for limited public exposure, I sit by myself rocking in my rocking chair and watching Netflix. I have mentioned in other posts that I do housework and make bracelets when I can afford the material, but there are huge chunks of time that pass between completing one task or activity and beginning the next. I miss being around my mom, whom I could always talk to on and off through the day. We could discuss everything from soup to nuts. Craving a mild level of interaction that was higher-functioning than my cat and understandably less

The Christmas Story The Christmas Story:  Who is This Jesus? Being a Christian, I want to share my faith during this Christmas season. It is my hope you will read it with an open mind. Blessed and Merry Christmas! ~autisticaplanet It was nearly midnight. Johnny sat beside the fireplace with his chin in the palm of his hand. Silent night played low on the radio. He stared into it, watching the tubes glow orange. Mom and dad had gone to bed a few hours earlier along with his siblings. He had solemnly held his candle during Christmas Eve service. About a hundred or so candles were all that lit the sanctuary as hymns were sung and the liturgy was spoken. Everything seemed to warmly glow this Christmas Eve, but for Johnny, all he felt were shivers. He thought about all the naughty things he had done this year. Mom had even told him that Santa wouldn’t bring him any gifts this year after she caught him smashing the neighbor’s large jack o’lantern. His mom saw him, running between the ho

I had my own assumption for my first job. My mom told me I didn't have to prove anything, but she would support my effort to get a job in the summer between my junior and senior year at Office Max. I chose Office Max, because I enjoyed organizing things. I also loved the smell of office and school products so much so as to take a stroll down the school supply asile at the supermarket or hardware store. I loved picking out my supplies from the list the school sent. I even had a play office kit my mom got me from a catalog. I assumed that there wouldn't be the hecticness of a grocery store due to the nature of the products sold. Those assumptions were proven wrong my first day. I started in July of 1996. Back to school shopping was already beginning. Office Max has the type of ceiling that amplifies sounds, so the screaming and crying of small children sounded like it was being played through speakers. There was a file I had to open with a combination lock that stuck. It work

I was experimenting with the Pixlr app on my tablet and settled on this reverse black and white filter. It helped me to dramatically show the contrast between the flower and the leaves. A few weeks prior, I came upon a dead bunny (whose picture I will not post) while walking in another forest preserve. Nature is contrasted by both the beautiful and cruel. God created a perfect garden and two perfect people. (Genesis 3) Free will eventually changed that, but the beauty of God's creation will never be completely obliterated. I am reminded that life will get better than this, that there will be a new heaven and earth to come with no sin in it. May God bless you.

I posted a side by side picture of myself on my FB page. One has me with no glasses, smiling into the camera. Another has me with glasses on and smiling, but my gaze is off. I wanted to show through photography the rediculousness of telling someone "they don't look autistic" or that they must fit the stereotype when they aren't making eye contact, but making ever effort to be plesant. That isn't hard to do in nature. I think the media created a stereotype at least over the past two decades that an autistic person must be white, male distant, apathetic and having a persistant, off gaze all of the time. I do have a slightly lazy right eye. When I am stressed or very tired, the eye does move off center. That is also my migraine eye. Sometimes, my ever buzzing mind distracts me right before a picture is taken. The smartphones can be hard to see exactly where the lens is, especially if I want a picture taken sans glasses. Sometimes, in the case of the selfie or gro

The ugliest word in the English language You know the ugliest word in the English language? Some think it’s moist. It’s NOT. The ugliest word in the English language is PUCE. Puce. Why not PUKE? Well, might not sell at Sherwin Williams. Dictonary.com defines puce as being “ of a dark or brownish purple” in color. Ok. I get that. I never had a Puce crayon. Brown, purple, THOSE ARE COLORS. Not PUCE. How about using language that describes the thing you’re talking about? You know, adjectives and nouns. “Honey, let’s paint the baby’s room a matte puce.” Sounds a little gross and possibly nasty, too. “Honey, let’s paint the nursery eggplant.” And she says, “Oh, it’s so organic! I love it!” _________________________________________________________________________________ Superfly So I’m watching the news and I hear this low pitched hum. Hoping it’s not a small aircraft poised to crash land on my roof, I get up and look around. It’s springtime in the northern

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After a 2 decade hiatus, I finally did something I'd been wanting to do since my maiden voyage at age 18. I got inked- again! This is a repeat victory for someone who used to agonize over blood tests. I had to get a lot of them when I was 17, as I was on medication that required periodic blood tests, particularly for Lithobid, which I am no longer on. I was also hospitalized over 20 times (I stopped counting after 20), and blood draws are a part of the experience. I had wanted a tattoo since I was 12. I used to get the stick on ones from Claire's. I saw a little butterfly on the sheet of stick ons, and I knew once I was of age (18 was legal for tattoos back in 1997) I would be getting a tattoo. Being stuck like a pig definitely helped me prepare! My dad would've been against it, but he had passed in 1994 (23 years ago today). My mom was cool with it-I got the second child privilege. By contrast my older sister couldn't date or get her ears pierced until she was

Dear readers, I have decided that the content of this blog has been very weighty and dark as of late. I am going to change direction a bit and focus on my more humourous side. I hope you enjoy. Note: some light and possibly offensive language. One shoe, no body A lone black sneaker in a dimly lit parking garage Photo courtesy of my sister Have you ever been driving down the highway and seen a shoe? Usually a sneaker. Of COURSE you have! It always weirds the crap out of me. WHY JUST ONE SHOE?! Then CSI kicks in. Where is that other shoe? Was it left behind as a clue? Maybe by the MAFIA? The message seems to imply this: “We have your loved one. Bring the shoe to us or we will kill him!” Because it’s always a man’s shoe. You can see that while you are at a red light that takes five minutes to turn green. It’s a size 13 triple E shoe. It usually is worn out and dirty. “We have your husband who just ran the 5K. Bring us 1, 00

Triangle, rectangle and circle in primary colors on a black background The shape of things Are all I can grasp Only outlines Form, light and shadow Their depth a mystery to me Reaching out, Reaching in I get more than I bargin for 3D vortex Turmoil twising, spinning Taking me down I drown Above ground Laid flat Immersed in sheets and cover Self inflicted mental interrogation That lasts for days I am an enemy to progress I decide to break the circle And grasp no further Than the shape of things

Picture of a hula girl looking at her distorted reflection in the window. Distortion effect is the whole image, adding that it isn't just in her head. The goal of this blog is to share my autism experience with others, with and without autism. The goal is to educate the reader on what it is like to have an IQ above 70 and still have severe issues with sensory sensitivity and managing sensory overload. It isn't to inspire and uplift, though if you find yourself either that is OK by me. A lot of what I post speaks to the frustration I face with lack of any supportive service, community access and grave concern for my future. I have shared my faith and photos in earlier posts. I have lost desire for both, but that is part of major depression stemming from lack of purpose and grave concern for my future. I am trying not to give up on either. I know there is a better life waiting for me in eternity. My hope is to arrive there by God's timing, not mine. I hope to d

Concept: colors, lines, and squiggles with the word "Static" written in the middle I drew this using a simple doodle app. The wild squiggles and different colors represent the different sensory chaos coming from all around and bunching, clogging my filterless brain. I screenshotted this, so pardon the advertising.