Skip to main content

I'm really not that bad...I am me

My first avatar for this blog 11/4/16
Yes, this is me. The Avatar lady with resting bitch face. Don't blame me. That one isn't mine!
I'm not really that horrible. I am hurt and angry.
I am tired of people tearing me apart because they don't agree with my Christian Worldview and my autism.
Why do I keep allowing commenting?
Aren't I supposed to "believe the best"?
Well, the assholes keep creeping in, despite civil warnings, so I am here now and I can say, after 6 years of blogging, there will never, ever be any commenting allowed here.
Not ever.
For me, commenting isn't healthy. It is another door Satan uses to try and tear me down.
I am autistic, so communication is already a problem. My badly damaged sensory filters add to the hyper-sensitivity.
Though I long to engage, I know the payoff, at least online, isn't worth it.
I began my blogging journey here and I have come home to roost.
I hope you will find what's written here to be helpful. If not, there are other blogs in the blogosphere.
I have switched from identity to anonymity, the reverse of what other bloggers do. But I am not others. I am me.

Popular posts from this blog

modern day compliments from ian

A heavenly perspective

Reaching toward heaven I was trying to get a different perspective taking nature shots. I had looked up to see this mass of white clouds hovering above bare tree branches. The branches looked like arms and fingers reaching up toward heaven. The clouds reminded me of something like  Exodus 13:21    where God's presence was with the Israelite s, guiding them. God takes care of all those who put their trust in His Son, Jesus. I have trusted Him in seeing me through my mom's death, an arrest, transitioning from one treatment facility to another and more recently, some neighbors treating Saturday nights as their own personal 4th of July. I still feel pain. I am tempted to doubt and catch myself self loathing. I keep praying .  I know nothing lasts forever. I look forward to eternity with God and my Christian loved ones who are there already. I hope you will come to know Jesus and accept Him as both your Lord as well as your Savior. Amen! ...

Lonely vs. being alone

I call this "Dancing with herselves" Being lonely is different from being alone. Being alone, for me, is when I have had enough sensory input from a person and/or environment. It is a choice. Being lonely is something I have little choice over. Due to the severe limitations of my autism spectrum disorder, I don’t have the simple luxury of calling up a friend to see if they are free for coffee or a walk in the park.  My only friend lives 45 minutes away and due to age, can’t drive long distances on a constant basis. I cannot drive. What support and socialization that does exist is for disabled people who can go anywhere and be exposed to everything as long as it is ADA compliant. I am alone in my home without human contact 6 days a week for 90% of my day. My sister does her best, but she, like my aunt, has a life that includes shared experiences with other people. Mine doesn’t. Nobody else in my family or community is interested in relating to me. I notice ...