I'm really not that bad...I am me

My first avatar for this blog 11/4/16

Yes, this is me. The Avatar lady with resting bitch face. Don't blame me. That one isn't mine!
I'm not really that horrible. I am hurt and angry.
I am tired of people tearing me apart because they don't agree with my Christian Worldview and my autism.
Why do I keep allowing commenting?
Aren't I supposed to "believe the best"?
Well, the assholes keep creeping in, despite civil warnings, so I am here now and I can say, after 6 years of blogging, there will never, ever be any commenting allowed here.
Not ever.
For me, commenting isn't healthy. It is another door Satan uses to try and tear me down.
I am autistic, so communication is already a problem. My badly damaged sensory filters add to the hyper-sensitivity.
Though I long to engage, I know the payoff, at least online, isn't worth it.
I began my blogging journey here and I have come home to roost.
I hope you will find what's written here to be helpful. If not, there are other blogs in the blogosphere.
I have switched from identity to anonymity, the reverse of what other bloggers do. But I am not others. I am me.

My autistic brain

Profile of a face with a rainbow colored brain. Personal autism attributes in various colors font. Since I am a visually oriented thinker, pictures come before words. Words flow easier if I can create an image or images first. Here is one case in point. I am very grateful for PixTeller.com for providing the royalty free images and designing capability.

I wasn’t meant to be a primary caregiver

As I have mentioned in posts over the last 2 years, my mom passed away 2.5 years ago. Caring for her in her final months was difficult, but doing it as an autistic person 5 days in a row the first couple weeks was impossible. She was in the end stages of pulmonary fibrosis. She weighed 70 pounds and was gradually withdrawing from eating and drinking. She had reached the point where she was scared to be alone. For. A. Single. Instant. I tried to tell my family that this much intensive care for 5 days straight was too much. I couldn't process it. There was no fresh supply of spoons and I was on auxiliary power. I have recently become acquainted with the Spoon Theory. Here is Wikipedia's definition: of the s poon theory: "The spoon theory is a disability metaphor used to explain the reduced amount of energy available for activities of daily living and productive tasks that may result from disability or chronic illness." Maybe they thought because

The migraine, one of my co-morbids and how it affects me.

I didn't know that the vile migraine had an awareness ribbon and month (June). They are not simply headaches. They alter mood, create nausea and vomiting, make darkness and silence a must, cancel plans and are chronic. My migraines were few and further between as a child (I got about 2-3 a year and had to go to bed, vomiting periodically), but increased in my teens along with autistic regression. I inherited mine from my mother. It is always the same eye. I don't get the the visual aura but I do have the olfactory (smell) phantosmia . Mine are blessedly fewer than 14 per month. My heart goes out to those of you who experience more than 14 a month. Love and support are so very important. My parents were very understanding. My mom had to hold me while I cried sitting on the bathroom floor, head pounding and vomiting into the toilet to the point it had to be flushed at least twice. I can expect them during right before and during my menstrual cycle. Sensory overload and

Funkonovo/Allison's autism Blog

Search This Blog