God, let there be peace!

After a year of intense anxiety, misunderstandings and resulting outbursts mostly online, I am in need of peace.
After a summer of major depression and enduring Saturday night M80s from neighbors from summer through fall (which caused suicidal ideation), I am in desperate need of peace.
In case you are wondering, yes, I called the police. It caused retaliation.
1 Corinthians 10:13 says that God won't allow a believer to go through more than they can bear, but will provide a way out.
God wants us to rely 100% on Him and not on other people or ourselves. This takes faith and humility.
I wonder if God was trying to get my attention with the suffering season I had? I have been relying on Him more lately, praying for Him to give me peace overall, but especially in the area of sensory overload.
I think the prayer was answered in part back in the fall, when I asked my APRN to prescribe Ambien for me to use on Saturday nights. I already have peace about New Year's Eve.
I've been able to remain awake Saturday nights for about 2 months now. The snow and cold has put a stop on fireworks...for the time being.
I pray that God will admonish them, changing their hearts.
In the meantime, I continue to pray to Jehovah Rapha, The God Who Heals. This is one of God's many names. God is so great that one name cannot fully describe Him.
If you don't know God, I pray you will open your heart to Him. I pray you will pray for peace and to be an instrument of His peace.
May God's peace be yours this Christmas season!

modern day compliments from ian

First Day of Spring

Cherry blossom tree in Springtime with light blue sky Today is the first day of Spring. As of late, I have presented a lot of dark, weighty subject material. I thought it was time for something positive and lighter. While Winter serves as a cushion and break from the outside sensory world, it also renews me for the next season. Spring helps me to appreciate the present a little more, as Summer can be tough with kids being off of school and setting off fireworks. Here is to the present. I also want to take the time to thank the Lord for always being with me, no matter how dark things get.

The Onion in the Petunia Patch Part Three

Young adulthood-present I attempted suicide when I was 17, six months before graduation. I was hospitalized for the first of what would be over 20 spanning from 1997-2006. More bullying and much more blame came from what was supposed to be a place of healing. I was told how spoiled I was, what a con-artist I was; manipulative (as if plugging my ears and screaming at the loud toddler visiting was my way of wanting to “get” something from someone-other than quiet). There were more suicide attempts. In 1998, I saw the next in a series of psychiatrists/psychologists. This man diagnosed me, wearily, with “autistic tendencies”. I was 19. I went on to getting into trouble with the law and almost being imprisoned. I firmly believe if it hadn't been for my mom’s nursing sense and persevering spirit, I would have gone to jail and would not be here today. I questioned God. I began to wonder if He really did exist. I decided that He did, but that He hated me, even was bullying me. How s...

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