Funkonovo/Allison's autism Blog

Autistic woman 4 square sequence typed personal autism attributes. April is 2 days away. I understand if you subscribers (thank you for reading) wish not to read all the notifications flooding into your inbox. Go to pixteller.com to create your own autism awareness infographic. It's free and easy enough for this quasi-Luddite to operate. Compassion before judgment!

Autistic woman's face in black & white with color text descriptions of how her autism affects her. I will let this image I created using Pixteller speak for itself. Share if you find this helpful. Make your own for free@ Pixteller.com

Woman holding head in hands Wednesday, I went for a routine psych assessment which lead to a meltdown which included me beating my head with my fists, and a walkout. It was a good thing I was already chewing my chewable, silicone necklace. Braided chewable pendant by Stimtastic What precipitated the meltdown and walk out was being yelled at (a deciBel level below screaming range and above emphasizing speech) by the doctor, who claimed in a previous appointment to know something about autism and sensory issues. I took myself off of an anti-depressant because it was making me suicidal. I was already dealing with a major depressive episode and still am. I kept and went back on the anti-depressant that I knew and trusted. I felt better in a couple of days. Better meaning non-suicidal. I never thought once of calling to discuss my decision with my doctor. It honestly never crossed my mind. For that, I am sorry . I made an unintentional e...

Autism  It isn't over in 30 days It doesn't only affect the male sex, children, teens or white people. It isn't just a different way of thinking. It is meltdowns and shutdowns from sensory overload. It is often expressing oneself better through writing than words. It is often too loud, bright, smelly, rough and itchy. Eye contact creates panic. It is needing safe places In which to process and recover. It is helped by people listening instead of judging. Sleep can be fleeting Bowels inflamed Head banging, flapping or rocking Chewing or spinning stim jewelry to alleviate anxiety Noise canceling headphones, sunglasses and hats Sometimes medication It can mean marriage and kids It can mean one, both or neither It is a vast spectrum In which women are being treated as the newcomers There all along Diagnosed in middle age All too often it means  poverty isolation persecution unemployment and saddest of all, much talent and creativity remain...

These are the chapters to the book I wrote. I posted the introduction a few months ago. I hope you gain something from reading. Chapter 1: My Ball of Wool: Sensory Processing Disorder and how it affects me. Imagine a sound that you absolutely cannot stand at even a low volume. Maybe it's a lawnmower, jackhammer, birds chirping, or sub woofers thumping from a passing car. Maybe it's a complex sound as in a song-THE ONE SONG YOU ABSOLUTELY CANNOT STAND TO HEAR because it brings up turbulent emotions each time you hear it or it makes you angry because it demeans women and/or minorities.  If you are more visually oriented, imagine the worst nightmare you ever dreamed, watching someone you love die, blinding strobe lights. If you are tactility inclined,  maybe it is the feel of wool or burlap being brushed against your skin.  Now imagine what ever the dreaded thing is- that it is  pervasive.  There is no escape from it. If you turn on your TV, ...

Cherry blossom tree in Springtime with light blue sky Today is the first day of Spring.  As of late, I have presented a lot of dark, weighty subject material. I thought it was time for something positive and lighter. While Winter serves as a cushion and break from the outside sensory world, it also renews me for the next season. Spring helps me to appreciate the present a little more, as Summer can be tough with kids being off of school and setting off fireworks. Here is to the present. I also want to take the time to thank the Lord for always being with me, no matter how dark things get.

Concept: What works for some doesn't work for all. Red square peg can't fit in round hole. Maybe it's just me, but I am greatly concerned about the motivation(s)  behind the NT movement to get autistic people employed and living independently.  It is every parent's hope to see their kids grow to be safe and content long after they are deceased. The government would love to see more disabled people paying taxes instead of relying on "handouts". For those autistic people requiring minor support who can cope with the MANY aspects of living in the everyday world, with its noise and confusion, speed and growing cultural apathy who can do a job, it is important and it matters they receive and have access to those supports. I am in no way against the personal betterment of each and every autistic individual to attain the best life possible-  for them. I am concerned that those who cannot ever support themselves given their autism, those like me,...

Photo negative of blog author lying on floor with OCD description I write mainly about my autism on this blog. I have not got into my co-morbids much.  When I was about five years old, I began to have unwelcome, unpremeditated thoughts. They were intrusive and did not reflect how I felt toward others. I kept hearing a (non audible) voice like "Push your mother/father down the stairs" when I would be behind them on a staircase. I "hear" an imaginary voice when I am reading. I don't know if others hear themselves read, but I do. I was also blessed with loving parents.  The thoughts I had were confusing and scary. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt or even kill my parents.  There were other directives, such as take one way around to the back yard or bad things will happen to you (meaning me). I thank God I didn't give into the inaudible voice, impulsion or compulsion. I could better function overall as a child. Most of my intrusive thoughts ar...

Box/Gumby type person comforting another in big square. They are alone in the small box. The concept is that the small square is reality and the big one is a wish.

I am like an almost empty glass (there's always a little anxiety stored) when I leave home. That glass quickly fills up with sensory stimuli. I become overloaded and need to return soon or I will go into sensory overload, have a meltdown and wind up hurting myself and possibly others. At home, there isn't a constant barrage of noise. Thankfully, nobody directly around my house has kids. There are dogs next door, and I do use three different white-noise machines throughout my home to keep me as calm and functional as possible. Having autism, I feel everything around me to the extreme . I feel extremely angry with someone if they hurt my feelings (intentional or not). I have to get away to a quiet place so I won't harm them or myself. I have to get away to a place devoid of sensory stimuli to calm down and mentally unpack the stressful events to get to a place where I am rational enough to engage with the world again. That can mean hours or days. I will always need as...

Color wheel. Concept: autism spectrum redefined. Can an autistic person be both high and low functioning? Is this even the right question to ask? I've heard the term "high-functioning" and "low-functioning" used for autism for nearly two decades, when I was first diagnosed. I am not offended by the terms, but  confused  by them. What is in question? IQ? EQ? verbal and social skills? How about coping with co-morbids and sensory processing disorder? The autism spectrum is often seen as linear, with "low functioning" being at one end and "high functioning" being at the other. This is one dimensional and I think, misleading. My IQ has been tested in adulthood twice. Each time, I scored 110, considered a B+ grade. Intellectually, I could say I'm high-functioning. I can speak, though I sometimes have to stop and think about what I have to say or wind up repeating words while I try and think about what ones I want to use. I do well with wr...

Profile of a face with a rainbow colored brain. Personal autism attributes in various colors font. Since I am a visually oriented thinker, pictures come before words. Words flow easier if I can create an image or images first. Here is one case in point. I am very grateful for PixTeller.com for providing the royalty free images and designing capability.

I do view my autism symptoms as disabling. To not be able to socialize (though I need very small amounts as compared to NT people) or contribute save from behind a PC keyboard is tremendously depressing. There is much said about accommodating autistic kids. From schools to movie theaters, action has been taken to better include autistic kids.  Those same kids will NOT outgrow their autism. They may better learn how to cope with their anxiety and frustration, but there will always be barriers, through no fault of their own, they cannot overcome. As adults, what will happen for the once accommodated kids who now need inclusion and accommodation in NT oriented institutions of learning, living spaces, recreation spaces, shopping and social services. Autism is a very broad spectrum. Not all autistic people who are verbal and have a higher IQ function as independently as Temple Grandin.  Mean spirited people, sadly some parents of autistic kids, have referred to adults on...

Multicolored roses with autism quote by autisticaplanet